Wobble….steady…watch out! Crash, you fall, hurt your pride and your will power to get back on. I try over and over again. My body weight is up, then down. Dress sizes small, then large, then small, then larger. My self confidence is on a roller coaster. I’m happy one day, sad the next. What’s going on? Why is my body turning against me? Why am I in pain, feeling lazy and tired all the time? Why do I hate seeing myself in any mirror I pass? Why do I hate being around those I love?
I find the will to live. I get back on the seat, steady my feet, balance my thoughts…slowly…that’s good, I keep trying…watch out, focus, think clearly….take my time! I’m doing it! Today, I’m doing it! Look at me! I found the balance I needed to get myself confidence back. I am in control. I’m eating healthy. I’m off the couch and exercising. Yea, I’m losing weight, reaching goals, but most of all I’m having a lot more happy days than sad! I have more energy. I like what I see in the mirror. I like me and I want to be around my loved ones and share that love. I start to feel the wind in my face…..watch out, I’m wobbling. I ‘m getting older, I don’t have all green days, I didn’t drink all my water…..steady…..steady, focus…That’s it! Get up, drink a glass of water, eat that fruit…..log it…..that’s right…You’ll be OK…your still in control!
The training wheels are gathering dust in the corner now. I’m not saying I won’t ever have to put them back on, but have comfort in knowing if I need them they are there to hold me up. For now, the wind is in my face as I ride on my path to a healthier, happier, more balanced person….Me!