Tuesday, August 16, 2016

My thoughts are saddened by the years

My thoughts are saddened by how fast the years are passing.
I don't know how long God has for me on this earth but he blessed me with two beautiful daughters. We did our best to raise them to be strong, Christian women, with good morals. God loans our children to us for such a short while, to love them unconditionally and raise them to the best of our knowledge. I hope I did that.
Raising children today is so very different. Ours were not as sheltered as our grandchildren are today. Not as spoiled, but we gave them all we could. We trusted them to come home as lash key kids after school so we could both work to feed and cloth them. Hoped that they would be safe, do their homework, and not fight.  We dreamed of their future, their adult lives, and that they would someday be blessed with children of their own.
When I'm gone, will my daughters think back and remember the good times? Will they do as I do each day and wish I should have listened to my own mother?  Will they miss me at all as much as I miss my mother? Will they be blessed with grandchildren and their hearts filled with love as they have blessed me with? Will they cry as many tears as I have and worry as much? Will they wish I could have done more, listened more, shared more secrets, or hugged them longer?
I will never know either of you when you are my age. I wont be here to hear about your day or answer any questions you may have. My job as your mother will be done. My hope is that you loved me and that you will forgive me when I failed you in your lives.
When the two of you become old woman, your hair shines with gray, and your skin is wrinkled, I hope your health will stay strong.
I hope you had happy memories of our lives together and forget the ones that caused you pain.
I hope the world will be a better place to live and that you surround your lives with your family and friends. I hope you didn't have to worry about your own children every day as I did.
I hope you still have your husbands beside your side to hold your hand as you grow old together. I hope the mistakes you’ve made in life have been long forgotten and  you have forgiven those that hurt you.
I hope you celebrated every birthday with those that you love and every wish came true.
I hope you both shared many holidays together and remembered the ones we shared.
I hope your children played together, laughed, and shared many outings.
I hope you travelled more and saw the world through your own eyes.
I hope you did work that you loved, that you helped people and that you prayed daily.
I hope you aren’t in too much pain as your own body ages and you grow old yourselves.
I hope you let your kids stay up late so that you could snuggle under the covers and tell each other secrets. I hope you have grandchildren and that they talk…constantly.
As the years pass, my greatest wish is that I taught you well. That you were able to fight when you needed to and give in when you wanted to. That you helped others and were kind to yourself.
I want so much for both of you and there's so little time to give. So little time to change. So little time to do over or change the things I didn't do. I can only pray that you both were there for each other. That you grew to love each other as Sisters and friends.
 Know this my daughters... I always loved you both equally and with all my heart and always will. My thoughts are saddened by the years we will not share on this earth but as you grow old, know this...it is only time between us before we see each other again.


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