My eyes open and I look around the room trying to focus them in the dark. The tiny red light on the TV aluminates the room and the blue light from the refrigerator door peeps through the bedroom door. There are no sounds except the light breathing from my husband as he sleeps and the humming of the air conditioner as it blows through the air vent. I lay there quite awhile and closed my eyes in hopes of going back to sleep. Its useless! My mind has already awakened my inner voice and my subconscious moves to the front of my thoughts.
I go over the events of the hours before I lay down that night....
The walk I had in the morning hours and how dark it was before the Sun came up. I must start wearing my flashing lighted vest again soon since the days are starting out darker. And what's up with those pesky horse fly's this year, don't they know I'm not an animal?
I really need to go visit my Mothers grave, I think to myself, and put out fresh flowers. Perhaps I will go today sometime. How I miss her smile! Has it really been that long ago?
Oh my, what will I fix for dinner today? I really need to go to the store and pick up a few things. What was that I said we needed last night? I need to start making a list.
Oh how I wish I could go back to sleep! I just heard the clock in the living room strike three times. Ya got to be kidding me... Its only three in the morning? Why am I awake? Why am I thinking of the things I need to do when its not even time to start my day? I lay as still as I can and close my eyes again. My husbands soft breathing is now a light snore. I toss and turn some and after awhile I touch his arm lightly and he quiets back down. Now my thoughts are focused on him. My partner in life, my best friend, who works hard and takes care of us and our home. I think back on the years we have had together and wonder how many more we will share in the future. The tears begin to come to my eyes and I just lay there thinking how much I love this man and I cant live without him. Please Lord, take me first when its time to go. I'm not strong enough to do this alone.
What's that noise I hear all of a sudden outside? Who in their right mind goes zooming down our country road in the middle of the night? Don't they know people are trying to sleep? Well, trying to go back to sleep? I'm sure their up to no good. I hope its not someone looking to see whos home or whos up. Did I lock my truck?
I have to get some sleep....the clock just struck another half hour....
Okay, Ill count my blessings instead of sheep. I'm thankful , Lord, for so many things.
For the roof over our head.
For the food on our table.
For my children and their spouses, and the Christian adults they have turned into.
I'm thankful for our three grandchildren and all the love and joy that fills our heart being with them.
For good health this year.
I'm thankful for this man that lies beside me sleeping. For his strength to keep going. His love that's unconditional for me and that we have had so many years together.
For my life and that you live in my life, Lord.
And for this day and the day ahead......
Yawn... I'm thankful....................